Turning 22

A couple of weeks ago, I turned 22 and this was the first ever birthday that left me with a strange mix of emotions. As I officially reached another year of existence, I realised what it was that made this year so different from the last, I always anticipated what lied ahead, this year however was not the case. This was all due to Covid-19, which left the future feeling so unpredictable and uncontrollable. Despite this as my special day approached, I felt a little lost and confused yet I was happy,very grateful but it just felt like this day was nothing more than just an ordinary day. 

I didn't really want to be celebrated though I still accepted and appreciated the generous gifts from my friends and family, I still had a beautiful family dinner and I still feel lucky to have lived another year. However deep down I felt bittersweet, I couldn't help but wonder why my life was being celebrated when so many others never will. As much as I do believe all life should be celebrated, it's incredible that once a year there is a day dedicated to each and every one of us. Though there are millions of people in the world that don't have that. There's no record of their birth, no clock to track time, no calendar to tell the date, no phone to set an alarm and no facebook to use as a reminder. 

We have reached a point in society where people need validation by the number of birthday wishes they get on their facebook timeline, number of likes on an instagram post or an updated profile photo from people they haven't even been in contact for years. But numbers shouldn't validate your worth, respect and self worth should play into verification of your worth. There's no amount of likes in the world that can validate how anyone should feel about themselves. 

I think what's influenced me to keep my birthday so low key is that I wondered what it would feel like for the millions of people who will never know their birthday or the feeling of sheer excitement of waking up to gifts and people celebrating their life. They wouldn't know any different and on this particular birthday, I just wanted to be thankful for growing another year older and to live a normal day as it was, be able to relax and be thankful for the kind wishes and generosity. 

21 was one of the most hectic, stressful but eye opening years I have ever experienced, It was filled with so many emotions but it taught me so much not only about life, but myself (stay tuned for another blog post on this).I'm so grateful to have such supportive friends and family that are thankful for my presence but gifts are so materialistic and unimportant to me. The most precious gift in life is gratitude and we are all very fortunate to even know the day that we are born. 

So here's to turning 22, another lap around the sun x 

Live your best life

When we think about our 'best life' we simply imagine ourselves in a place with no pain or suffering and where all our dreams and ambitions come full circle. We imagine ourselves being able to make an impact on not only our lives but the lives of those who have helped us in our journeys to where we are now. On a deeper level, living our best life means to find purpose and meaning in life, live up to your potential and do all the things you hope to do someday now instead of putting them off for the foreseeable future. 

We all have visions of a better tomorrow, whether that be to exercise more, find a career you actually love, earn more money, gain more free time and so on. However these visions lead us to a path where it's okay to want, we all have such high expectations of ourselves, because we want more and are capable of more but part of living our best life is learning to harness that power. It's natural to dream and wish, however life is temporary and you shouldn't wait for it to feel fulfilled, you should take action and take every opportunity as it comes. 

In order for our best lives to become readily perceived, we must embrace ourselves whether that's in terms of appearance, religion, gender or lifestyle. Being able to live comfortably, unapologetically and in disregard of all those who don't accept who we are is the key to unlocking your best life. Part of the journey is self inquiry and to uncover what really interests us and makes us feel alive. However discovering what we want in life also means facing what we don't want. Although this is a turbulent process, learning to live life with authenticity and honesty leads to rewards that often surpass our expectations. Even simple everyday life can feel amazing when we are living it with purpose. 

Life comes fast, there comes situations where we have to put in time and effort for, whereas others happen almost instantly. A particular situation that comes to mind is the summer placement I gained in my second year of university. The application process was quite stressful and despite a few rejections, I still had the motivation to persevere until I managed to gain several interviews. Regardless of how opportunities arise and the rejections faced along the way, the one way to ensure that your life goes the way you want it to, is to be grateful for all situations no matter good or bad and we just have to ride the waves, no matter how bumpy they may be you'll always find a way to conquer through. 

Ultimately, living our best life comes down to us being grateful. Grateful for getting more time to make a difference, grateful for the people that are in our lives and most importantly being grateful for who we are. In order to truly live our best life, you have to be selfish and think about yourself. This doesn't come easy to me however asking myself how the next decision is going to benefit me in the rest of my life is crucial. I've come to learn that living a life full of everyone's decisions instead of my own will slowly lead me down a path of always feeling sorry for myself and wishing I had come out it before it got worse. Though living a life full of my own choices, embracing myself and my actions, through strength, courage and self respect will ensure I create the life I desire. 

As Oprah Winfrey once said ' the biggest adventure you can take to life is to live the life of your dreams'

x 

The power of friendship

Friends come in all shapes and sizes, there's facebook only friends who you hide from when you see them at tesco's. There's friends who only pop up when they need something or want to arrange to meet up so they can spend hours whinging about anything and everything.There's childhood friends who you grow up with, no matter where you go, what you do they will always come by and take you back to the early stages of life, rooted in longevity. Though only the lucky ones will have the same childhood friends in all stages of their life. Finally there's life long friends whom you meet throughout various stages in life, who you see once in a blue moon but feel like no time has actually passed when you finally do catch up. 

People tend to say 'pics or it didn't happen' so does that mean your friends are any less precious? because you don't have pictures with them? They also say your true friends are ones you have the least or if any photos with, though sometimes we worry that we rush to document our every moment with people to the point where you don't live in the moment. Rather than living with them, you're just documenting it. And granted, if you don't document it, chances are you will forget it. I guess I'm still trying to find that balance, between making sure moments are memorable without making them seem superficial. 

A picture could hardly capture how deeply I feel for some of my closest friends, whether it's all the times of laughter, stress and tears we've shared or the times where we had no clue what we were doing, we've always had the support of each other to get us by, even if it is in the form of a 220 day snapchat streak.You know that they will always be there to listen to your problems, lend a shoulder to cry on, and cheer you up with their amazing sense of humour and comforting hugs. 

No matter how far apart friendships seem so transient, but the ones that last are the ones that keep us going, or at least I'd hope so. Ultimately good friends are like stars, you don't always see them but know they are always there. 

x 

Being your best self

Being your best self is not about wanting other people to think and act the way you do, it's about being tolerant and keeping a positive mindset without compromising your values. It is normal to be constantly striving to reach our best selves, whether that's to become more self-confident or to excel on a personal, professional and academic level. 

Don't get me wrong, striving for success is a good thing and it's a pathway we follow that we believe will better us. But when do we stop? when we've failed? when we've come across a hurdle? it usually is when something goes wrong. But we need to understand that it is okay to stop, think and be present with one's current self and honour how far we've come along the journey, focusing on what you've achieved so far and not what you haven't. Besides the journey is the fun part right? 

Stopping isn't a sign of weakness, nor is it an option to turn lazy and lose the drive to better ourselves but more a reminder that its okay to celebrate the achievements you've made along your journey. We as humans tend to beat ourselves up before celebrating our achievements, we instantly pick out the negatives of a situation instead of commemorate the positives. 

I have always lost my true self in the demands of society, by comparing myself to others which I have come to realise now has only made me feel bad about myself and highlight my insecurities. Though changing this mindset can be difficult, it is not impossible and in order to be our best selves, we shouldn't worry about what other people think even if it is within our human nature to want to be liked and accepted. This excessive worrying can be so debilitating and interfere with your ability to live your life to its fullest potential. 

Life is so fast pace and to reign in ones self and think about what is important in the future is acceptable. Next time you feel like you've let yourself down, just remember how far you've come...the journey, the friends, the people you've met along the way that have that have supported you to get to where you are now. 

Ultimately don't beat yourself up, you're doing great and remember we are all built for something so its okay to find a starting line, look over your shoulders and get lost in the wild. 

 

x

'Best Friends Forever' doesn't always mean forever

BFF breakups are notoriously brutal, they can leave you feeling more alone, isolated and hollow unlike a romantic breakup where you've got your best friend to turn to for moral support. Whilst everyone usually acknowledges the trauma of a romantic breakup, people don't necessarily talk about the fallout of a best friend. The term 'best friends forever' is normally used because in the best of times we expect that person to always be around but in reality people change which is something I have had to come to terms with recently....

I have been best friends with someone for over 11 years now, as we went to university in different parts of the country we've drifted apart slightly over time. I have still tried to stay in contact with her over the years by messaging or the occasional facetime and calls, however recently I have come to realise that she hasn't replied or even seen my messages in months. What makes it worse is that you can tell she is online and active on social media, through her posts with other members of our close knit friendship group. I just don't know what I've done wrong if anything to deserve this type of treatment, I feel so lost. 

I keep reminding myself that no matter the reason, my friend simply wasn't capable of being the person I needed in order for our friendship to be sustained. Maybe one day, with time and distance I'll be able to understand what even went wrong. Maybe I won't. But in the meantime, I have to move on and know my own worth. As much as it hurts, I have come to learn that what originally brought us together isn't necessarily the thing that will hold us together, though this doesn't belittle or negate our friendship in any way but to accept this is crucial to finding closure. 

The idea of moving on scares me and although it's horrible, spending time and energy on people who also do the same is one step to mourning that loss. It's okay to be upset and take your time to process things, but appreciating the support system you already have and focusing on things that make you happy is uplifting. I have been trying to cope with my emotions by distracting myself - spending time outside or with people who's company I enjoy.

You are not alone, people change but there are always people around you who support you, and

 it feels so much better knowing that those are the ones that genuinely care. 

x