BFF breakups are notoriously brutal, they can leave you feeling more alone, isolated and hollow unlike a romantic breakup where you've got your best friend to turn to for moral support. Whilst everyone usually acknowledges the trauma of a romantic breakup, people don't necessarily talk about the fallout of a best friend. The term 'best friends forever' is normally used because in the best of times we expect that person to always be around but in reality people change which is something I have had to come to terms with recently....
I have been best friends with someone for over 11 years now, as we went to university in different parts of the country we've drifted apart slightly over time. I have still tried to stay in contact with her over the years by messaging or the occasional facetime and calls, however recently I have come to realise that she hasn't replied or even seen my messages in months. What makes it worse is that you can tell she is online and active on social media, through her posts with other members of our close knit friendship group. I just don't know what I've done wrong if anything to deserve this type of treatment, I feel so lost.
I keep reminding myself that no matter the reason, my friend simply wasn't capable of being the person I needed in order for our friendship to be sustained. Maybe one day, with time and distance I'll be able to understand what even went wrong. Maybe I won't. But in the meantime, I have to move on and know my own worth. As much as it hurts, I have come to learn that what originally brought us together isn't necessarily the thing that will hold us together, though this doesn't belittle or negate our friendship in any way but to accept this is crucial to finding closure.
The idea of moving on scares me and although it's horrible, spending time and energy on people who also do the same is one step to mourning that loss. It's okay to be upset and take your time to process things, but appreciating the support system you already have and focusing on things that make you happy is uplifting. I have been trying to cope with my emotions by distracting myself - spending time outside or with people who's company I enjoy.
You are not alone, people change but there are always people around you who support you, and
it feels so much better knowing that those are the ones that genuinely care.
x
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