As women in Engineering, we are often faced with a multitude of demining questions which often bring about hindrances or stigmas associated with the field. As a result we often experience a continual bias whereby we are underestimated constantly for our engineering knowledge, skills and performance levels on engineering tasks as opposed to men. Not only does this hinder a woman's self-confidence, but these tendencies also limit women in the workplace, discouraging us from actively seeking or pursuing careers in STEM related fields because it doesn't fit with the stereotypical image of femininity.
I've learned that being a women in this field requires a high level of confidence, thick skin and you have to be able to stand up for yourself. Though I must admit I am not at all great this however I am still learning how best to tackle these situations. My perception of myself instantly changed a lot as I began university, and started to research more into the hindrances I could face as a woman in Engineering and how the environment I was in could affect this.
During my time at university, I experienced high levels of loneliness, stress and anxiety. These emotions stemmed primarily from the death of my grandmother in my first year. At this time I felt at my absolute worst, I stopped taking care of myself and truly just let go as I felt guilty taking breaks from studying. I just felt like I was spiralling, and thought that anytime I spent doing anything other than studying was me self-sabotaging my future career. I continued to demoralise myself and compare myself to other people specifically peers on my course. I just felt like I wasn't good enough, and that I owed it to her, my family, friends and to everyone that has supported me to get to where I am today. I think I was more scared of failing them than I was myself, and so always put a lot of pressure on myself to work really hard to achieve what I set out to achieve, ultimately to make them proud. At times I found it hard to handle the pressure, where my imposter syndrome was at an all time high and I continuously began to doubt my accomplishments and my persistent internalised fear of failure.
As time went on, I started becoming more confident in my engineering knowledge and abilities, and I was able to prioritise what was more important for me yet maintain a work life balance. I noticed a difference in myself personally, both emotionally and mentally. Additionally, I was performing just as I always felt I was capable of, I ended up averaging a first (>70%) at the end of my first year and have not looked back since. Although it took me a year to realise this, despite all the difficulties and emotional breakdowns, I was able to find the strength I needed to grow into who I am today and was finally able to tell myself that I could do it and there was nothing stopping me from achieving my future goals.
Here I am today, a strong, determined, confident young woman ready to face any challenges the world may throw at me. If there's one thing I have learnt it is never to allow anyone to convince you that you do not belong where you are or where you want to be. No matter how hard it gets, we will overcome this unconscious bias and remove gender based roles and hindrances, ultimately there is always a place for a woman in STEM!!
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